Be A Better Listener Posted on January 8, 2019January 8, 2019 by admin 1) Passionate People Use A Lot Of Absolutes. Words like these can drive you mad if you hear them literally. They could derail a conversion very quickly. Do not listen to absolutes verbatim. If you do, you will wind up debating facts rather than communicating. Do not use them if you can help it. Stop what you are doing when someone is talking to you. If you’re watching tv, turn it off out of respect for the person who is talking. This is a great way to show value to someone. Do it for children, your partner, your friends and your own parents. This provides a message that they are more important than what you’re watching or doing. Do it without sighing or making an aggravated expression. 3) Look At The Man Who Is Talking. Eye contact shows sincerity. It tells the person who’s talking that you’re listening and are engaged in the conversion. Eye contact shows that you are interested in what the person has to say. Lean slightly forward to further communicate interest. Uncross your arms to demonstrate openness to what they must say as opposed to arms crossed that tends to be read as defensiveness. A good listener is a rare person. A two ears and one mouth strategy helps you keep listening in your mind as a priority. It is better to be a good listener than to be a good speaker. Shy people may disagree that it is the truth. 6) You Don’t Have To Make Your Stage Right Now. Do not steal the conversation by jumping in too fast to make your own point. Be patient. Just listen. You’ll get your turn. You will have more information. You will have better understanding as well. If you’re angry, it may be a better idea to wait to make your point. 7) Do Not Retaliate. If the person says something you do not like that you don’t have to react. A smart person does not retaliate. They listen. 8) Women Are Never Upset For The Reason You Think. This one is for the guys. Women do not do it intentionally but they speak in a coded message. Everything you hear and what they say are often two different things. Men tend to hear that something has to be fixed, what they do is never good enough, griping, nagging or complaining. He basically hears that he’s doing a bad job and he gets a zero for his effort. He believes”a zero” is absurd and unappreciative. He in turn stops listening. It’s important that a man doesn’t hold this common but false conclusion. This is the reason teenage sons can not hear their mothers and why I will always have a job for a marriage therapist.